Holding Back Time

It's been one month already!  Time is flying by and it is so different this time around.  When Carly was a month old, I can remember being so anxious to get to the next stage.  To see what she would do next, and when she met that milestone, I wanted her to move on to the next one.  This time, I would love for time to stand still just a little longer. 

My Christopher is one month today!  He is sleeping less during the day, and his dark blue eyes are open more absorbing everything they can!  I am trying to squeeze him into his newborn clothes now, because I know after he grows out of them, there will be no more newborn clothes in my house again.  It is bittersweet, because despite my vows to enjoy my pregnancy and appreciate every moment.  After six long months of on again off again bed rest, restricted lifestyle, and a long drawn out road to labor and delivery (we are talking 6 weeks of dilation before I finally made it to the hospital) I can honestly say that I had a REALLY hard time keeping that promise I made about cherishing the miracle of life.  And by the end of it, I was sooo done with it all!



At my brother's graduation, the day before I delivered!

 But now, I have this beautiful, sweet, mild mannered (thank GOD) little boy.  And when I look at him I can say that it was sooo worth it!

That being said, to willing put myself through that again would take nothing short of a miracle in itself.  So the bittersweet part is that although I would love to have another sweet baby, I know it won't happen.  And so with each milestone my boy hits, I am excited but also sad. 

Going Home

I look at both my children now, and sometimes I can't believe that they are both a part of me.  I look at Carly and remember when she was Christopher's size.  I couldn't wait for her to get bigger so I could do her hair, talk with her, play with her.  Now I want her to slow down too.  And despite the fact that we are in the trenches battling the terrible 3's, and there are some days where I just want to put ear plugs in to gain some of my sanity back, part of me wants her to stay this little for a while longer.

She is a good big sister, and it makes me proud how well she is adjusting to all the changes in her life.  She is a strong girl and at the same time that quality can drive me nuts sometimes, it is a quality I am glad she has. 

And while I do imagine what other characteristics my children will grow up to have, I can wait just a little longer to find out!